Change delayed, new blog possible.

Lockdown postponed until further changes can be made. The blog is too large for conversion to the new blogger service and the switch is going to be delayed. More news as it develops.

Lockdown motherfuckers! Back in your cages.

This blog is locked down until the transition to the domain is completed. You'll all still be using the older blogger interface but the address for viewing the blog will change.

http://blog.doomlazer.com/ will be the new address when the transition is completed. Thank you for your patience.

When I have nothing to say....

I don't say anything. I'm not going to try and find something interesting about my life, dress it up to make it more interesting than it really was, then make/find an appropriate picture. Too much effort for too little yield. Or if you prefer, a miniscule supply and a nonexistent demand.

If you call me, likely an Aligator will answer

Last night I got a little 'a plumb crazy.' After flushing the turlet, I went to make a drunk phone call to everybody's favorite star of the circle-jerk, Brandon. As the flush was in motion, I flipped it open right into what for many of us on New Years' Eve was a porcelain goddess. The toilet, a Kohler, swallowed it whole. My first instinct was to call Andy to ask, hypothetically, what someone should do if they wind up flushing their phone. Reaching into the cold, cold water, I felt the phone, but I only managed to call Doomlazer, and it cost me $40 because Doomlazer is going to the dot net.



Really though, I flushed my phone. It's gone and along with it, so are all of my phone numbers. The only thing that didn't drown with my LG was, "Hey, you reached Chad's cell phone. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you. Bye."

Get back to me with your numbers.

You are not prepared...

Seven days....

I hope nobody rips off my post by changing the title to be about motherfucking roosters and changing their post time to be earlier than mine

I'm going to buy a car, come spring. Its a big deal for me. I want a new, store-bought car.

Now, the Malibou is serving me well, but I feel that it is becoming quickly a glaring contradiction to what I often preach as a core value of what I believe and strive for...child pornography!



At first, I was attracted to the complete opposite; the sub-compact. Specifically the Hyundai Accent. That was until I learned that it performed terribly to average in safety ratings. I'm not going to attempt to try to guess and assume that I can fool anyone.... I am a terrible driver. Even though, I span several vehicles and put on well over 90,000 miles between them, I often find myself looking at what people have in their yards, what livestock I can see, various wildlife, etc, &c.

Let me explain what I want in perhaps the crudest terms I can possibly imagine - I want a car that is SO feminine that it will turn women into lesbians, make straight men drool, and turn me gay in the process. I want that damned grocery-getter. I want to put her in her place(which would normally be in front of the stove, but this is a car we're talking about - fucking pay attention already!)

In closing, nobody in their right mind will grant me credit(my fucking phone has a spending limit) and I'll still be getting 12 MPG on my birthday.

Scheesh...

And I don't fucking want 1 of these...

I Wanna Play Devil's Advocate Here

Brandon Sucks! That's right, fuck him being back. What's he ever done for any of us? Nothing!



I wouldn't care if he never invites Bill or me to swim in his septic tank again.



I can't wait for SIUC classes to resume.

Times Square only had 1 ball

Last night Justin's house has hundreds. All of us got with the fuckers, but my major ball induced pain comes from sleeping on top of about 20 of them. My chest hurts. I feel like I have a collapsed nostril from getting hit in the face. I won't be able to wear short sleeves because my arms are al bruised up. God I love new years.

Best idea ever, Bill.