Okephobia/Snow Story

First off, I suffer from two phobias:

• Isolophobia- fear of being alone
• Acrophobia- fear of heights

Look up your phobia(s) and post them too!

Secondly, today there is a prediction of a big snowstorm. This is nothing new, although judging by peoples' behavior you would think it is. What was funny about it was how the predicted amount grew with each successive report. I had a total of five customers mention the predicted snow amount. Here's how it went down

1. 6-10 inches
2. 12 inches
3. 14 inches
4. 15 inches
5. 16 inches

So with each successive customer it gained an inch or so. It should be told that after customer 3 I pointed this fact out to each customer who mentioned it. When I returned home Andy said the radio said 6-16. I guess they were all right, sort of. I hate them.

An injury to all....

From the contract between the UFCW local 1444 and Piggly Wiggly:

No employee shall be made to work past 5pm on Christmas Eve, or 6pm on New Years
Eve, except as is necessary to clear the customers from the store at closing.

In contrast, this note posted on the time clock:

Our new holiday hours of operation are

Christmas Eve
6am-6pm
New Years Eve 6am-8pm
New Years Day 8am-7pm

If anyone wishes to volunteer for the extra couple hours of operation, sign
up here.

The company has some balls asking the employees to give up their contractual rights and "volunteer" for "a couple extra hours." They were probably banking on people not having read that portion of the contract. By the end of this week everyone I see at work will have read that portion of the contract.
What the bosses don't know is that come the 24th of December, that store is closing at 5 no matter what they say.....

The tables have turned.

My cat no longer wishes to sleep in my bed. The other cat infiltrated my defenses and managed to spray her bed and the back wall of my room and she's camping out in the bathroom as a result. She's not sleeping in the litter box anymore, but she's still sleeping on a rug nearby. The wall has been washed, all the linen laundered but still she refuses. This is the most ridiculous purchase I have ever made. It's a shameless attempt to lull her back into my room. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it, and I hope it brings amusement to all of you.

THE D

Bill and I went to the Tenacious D concert tonight and got our socks rocked completely off! If you guys haven't seen the movie yet I suggest you do, it's HI-larious. Happy Late Holidays!!!!

here it is...

Steamtrain Caught the Westbound

Farewell, Grand Patriarch of Hobos

happy thanksgiving...

and i got a new tattoo yesterday. and i love it. and it felt so good. and i am hoping to get another,slightly more involved one in a couple of weeks. i will post pictures soon, when i get my camera back up and running.

We count all our blessings, and wonder what we're doing here

What am I thankful for

• Russia(in general)
• The Internet

Actually, there isn't much more than that right now. I would have pictures I took to post but Server 2003 doesn't like cameras(or DVD burners, I'm going to have to switch OSes so I can do the things I like to do.) Oh, and honorable mention goes to Heather. She's not Russia or The Internet, but she will be bringing me some thanksgiving dinner(no standing in line for me!) while I toil away after waking up before dawn.

The girl in my dreams tries to look like you

Current Mood: Relaxed
Current Music: Artie Shaw, Duke Ellington
Currently Reading: The Inspector General by Nikolai Gogol
Currently Drinking: Rockstar Juiced Guava Flavor

I feel pretty good about life right at this moment. I'm enjoying russian literature and american big band, exotic guava supplemented by a turkish and domestic blend.

Wii came, Wii saw, Wii made a terrible pun.

So a couple of a friends (Chris, and Joe) and myself decided it would be a fantastic idea to camp out for a Wii on the 18th, as we felt Nintendo deserved no less than our utter dedication. Allow me to describe this in a timeline format as it will be a lot easier, and I'm too lazy to write a concise and intelligent piece.

11/18 5:25pm - We decide to go to the wal-mart in antioch, as we heard they had a midnight release.

5:45pm - Arrive at wal-mart, line completely full. We start calling Best Buy's in the area and find out that the one in Vernon Hills has the least amount of people. Joe wants to purchase a lawn chair on display in the sporting goods section for something to sit on during the long wait. There are no more chairs in stock except for the "mushroom" variety. Worthless.

7:00pm - Arrive at Best Buy in Vernon Hills, only TWO people in line and we became numbers 3/4/5.

7:35pm - Some guy in a porsche pulls up to the five of us and hands everyone some left over olive garden, as his wife does not want the garlic smell in the car. We truly felt like vagrants... and ate the breadsticks... not the spaghetti though!

7:45pm - Joe heads to T.J. Max in hopes of finding suitable gloves and hats for the three of us. He came back 10 minutes later with the spoils, claiming that he would never set foot in that store again.

8:00pm - A middle-aged and EXTREMELY annoying man comes into being as number 6. He insists on making a list of everyone in the queue and talks loud while making tasteless, asinine jokes.

8:30pm - Various others arrive throughout the night, though I will consider them insignificant in this timeline.

10:00pm - Paul and Erick (first two in the line) offer us admittance into their tent. These two guys are the heroes of the world. For the next 6 hours there was a down pour of freezing rain that we were able to avoid. It was still cold as fuck, but I could only imagine what the others in the line felt.

10:30pm+ - We had a picto-chat party (tm) with our DSes featuring many a genetalia whilst playing mario kart DS. Wonderful. The rest of the night was spent uncomfortably cramped in the tent with our minds being tormented by the oh so unfunny comments coming from outside. Aggravating, but strangely intriguing.

11/19 5:00am - I awake to the sound of excited murmurs. We decide to finally get up and wait for 9am sans unconsciousness (except for Paul, who will remain asleep until 7:30am).

7:00am - By this time we are all delerious, not necessarily from the lack of sleep, discomfort, or cold... but just the sheer experience.

7:30am - We wake up Paul (oh mighty giver of the tent) and he forgot where he was. One of his gloves linings were out of wack so I had to fix it. Phew, crisis averted.

8:00am - Best Buy manager comes out and gives us the whole ticket spiel while we wait in agonizing anticipation. Shortly after he begins SLOWLY handing out the tickets, YARGH.

8:55am - The doors open. We go in and grab our loot, receiving the Wii at the service counter. Joe grabs 3 nunchuck and Wiimotes, 2 classic controllers, and about 4 games. Insanity. Paul couldn't decide between an extra game or the warranty... so he decides for the warranty and Chris spots him for the extra game out of complete gratefulness.

9:03am - I'm the first to walk out with the Wii, people cheer, I just kind of shrug and give a thumbs up as I head for the oh so needed comfort of my VW. I head home and sleep for 20+ hours with some eating at an undeterminable time.

And thats it!!! Was it worth it? Fuckin' A right it was! Sure, the launch games aren't all that great (Red Steel is HORRIBLE)... but Zelda deserves an adventure as such. I feel so far above those who just came to target an hour before open, or people who got to wait inside wal-mart for the midnight release. I love it. Here's some crappy pics, FTW:

A cryptic message only one person will understand, if any

This is a message for number 43 from number 42: I hope you aren't too shocked when number 44 comes along.

No Mas Trabajo

I'll be quitting my job on November 28. Coincindently enough, that's my birthday. I picked that date because it's the soonest I can quit and still be paid holiday pay for the 2 days we get off for Thanksgiving (the law states that in order to get paid for a holiday, the worker must work the day before and after the holiday).

I'm really going to miss the dynamics I have with Jesus Conde. Everday he offers me a deal so that he can fuck my asshole. Usually what's on the table is my car for 3 months of him fucking me. "You givme you car I fuck you 3 months," he offers. I've brought up some sticking points with him and some coworkers. I don't wanna get screwed on thisn deal.

Would I have to give him my car before the fucking starts or after? Maybe Jesus and I can car pool during those three months. I'm just saying, if Jesus needs a car, I'm willing to help out.



This is Manny. He speaks good English.

Backdated Hunting Post

I'm back from hunting. I guess I shot more than my fair share last year because I didn't see a single thing this year. Maybe next year will be more eventful. I didn't take any photos of the butchering or gutting so I don't really have to hide this post anymore. My uncle let me tag a buck he shot so I do have taco meat. That is all.

Like Owner, Like Dog

As much as I wanted to I did not put this on the dog's head. He is crazy about the cheeseballs and went all out on an opportunity to eat the dust. His catching cheeseballs is also superior to his "staying" and "coming" abilities. I wish you all were here to eat some cheeseballs too. *sigh*

Happy Rainbow Suicide ^__^

A few days ago I was watching TV not really doing anything when my roommate yells down at me to come chat with his girlfriend and her family. So I go up to his room and he's got her on a video chat so I got to see Yoko and her family. I come into the camera's view and Yoko's sister says, "Acta- mitai ne." Which means doesn't he look like an actor. Come to find out Yoko's sister works for a big television studio in Tokyo called NHK. As most of you may know I have to do an internship in Japan in order to graduate, and as it is right now Yoko's sister is trying to see if I can do the internship with her company. She's also seeing if they would like to tape my experience and make it into a show possibly. These are all really big maybes so I'm not going to hold my breath on it. I am keeping my fingers crossed though.

Tadaima

I'm coming home next sunday. I'll be home the 19th to the 24th.

Lets get shit faced sometime (or all the time) while I'm back. Looking forward to seeing you all ^___^

I miss you all

So, as a way of saying "I MISS YOU" , I present to you this link of fun and enjoyment in our own special way:

Behold! http://nonk.nonk.info/pages/pool/pool.swf

Master of my domain

As I post this, I'm working on getting Active Directory® to function on my computer. It was partly for school, partly because XP self-destructed, and partly for curiosity's sake that I installed Server 2003 using my free CD that came with the book. I'll probably uninstall it once I can recover my other HD's stuff(All my pictures were on the windows partition). At most, I will have one client. And that's if I can get my domain controller in working order.

If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em

Twyla and I formally entered into a Cookie Eat Off Beat Off Contest today. Don't get worried, it's actually a competition, not a contest. And no, the loser will not have to eat a semen cookie. I went looking for this fight as a way to build congenial relations between my coworkers. I got the idea that a good eary step to organizing is to get people to trust one another via fiesta after a coworker loaned my a copy of Asian Fever at about midnight. I rarely talk to this person because he works a different shift and department, but nonetheless, he felt that I would like to watch Asian bever fever getting treated by the doctor.

I think I know everyone well enough to know they like cookies. I've lined up 5 judges, Iron Chef style, and got Benito to agree to be the host. All I need is a cookie recipe that can beat a mother of 3. Since the judges are all grown men, I have no qualms with using one from my favorite single, childless chef, Alton Brown. At lest, I think he never cooked a bun in someone else's oven. But if anyone can get me some cookie cooking tips or recipes, lay 'em on me. The Eat Off Beat Off is this Friday. The winner gets a copy of Asian Fever.


That's Geln. He's a Judge

If you don't like my ass you can shut the fuck up and watch something else.

Thanks to Nikon! I love being able to hear the motors in the camera when I'm recording video.

Melting down church bells to make cannons

"Man's highest joy is in victory: to conquer one's enemies, to pursue them, to deprive them of their possessions, to make their beloved weep, and to embrace their wives and daughters."

-Ghengis Khan, Leader of the Mongols who would one day conquer Russia

I've been reading a college textbook on the history of Russia. I love russia and I identify with its history so well.
They started out primitive, backwards, and un-unified. Slowly, under pressure from numerous attempts to subjugate them, the Russians unified, and began to grow powerful. In the latter half of the 20th century they grew to become a great power. But, they were always playing catch-up to the other powers, always fighting their own backwardness. Even at the height of its prestige, Russia was the 2nd best world power. Finally, the pressure to keep up was too much and the great empire disintegrated into pieces, an empire that once spanned 12 time zones. And what's worse, the fleeting greatness of their empire was bought at a terrible price. The poor, 90% of Russia's population, were worked, taxed and starved to death for it. And that doesn't include the wars. I guess that's why I love Russia's history. It's proud, yet tragic. It contains moments of awesome glory and inhuman suffering.

I fell asleep at Brandon's house last night.

The Dragons Fire Burns Hot

So earlier tonight me and my roommates threw a keg party and had a bunch of people over. Since my roommates are pledging to a frat they had a bunch of their pledge brothers over. One of them got so drunk that he threw up then passed out. Naturally the next course of action is to write on the mother fucker with a permanent marker. So we lift up his shirt and start drawing penis' on him. It doesn't take long before someone suggest to draw on his face but his buddy wasn't going to have any of it.

"You're not allowed to draw on his face" he said.

Fuck that, no one can come into my house and tell me what I can and can't do. "Go ahead, if you pass out everything is up for game."

Next thing I know this mother fucker is in my fucking face telling me that I am and no one else is allowed to draw on his buddy's face. He started spouting out some bullshit like, "We got rotc in the morning and I don't want to deal with it."

Now I'm thinking just because you're in the fucking rotc you're exempt from the house rules. "Don't you tell me what I can and can't do in my own FUCKING HOUSE...DRAW ON HIS FUCKING FACE."

Then this asshole tells me again that no one is allowed to draw on his face and then tells me that he was going to take Pukey McPassout out of here as if that was supposed to make me feel bad for yelling at them.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE." I yelled this at him about 3 times before he finally dropped down and picked that poor bastard up off the floor and soon those two were gone.

Nothing makes you feel more powerful then when you yell at someone to do something and they actually do it. The best part is that the guy I kicked out bought a shit load of beer because the keg ran dry. So now I'm minus one asshole but plus a bunch of beer. In the end everyone wins.

This is addiction.

Might as well drag your desktop 500 miles north so you can feed your internet addiction right? I'll be posting some pretty horrible photos in the coming days. I'll be backdating the posts and just linking to the post on the right of the page to spare people the gore. Wish me luck with my killing.

The White Noise Helps me Fall Asleep

I keep my bathroom like a steam oven

This is not a test

Confess-Oke

The -oke wherein you confess one deep dark secret that you never wanted anyone to know but the people who read this blog.... because why keep things secrets when you can let them out and make more room for things you enjoy.


All Confess-Oke's will use the following Catholic Confession/Molestation Box format.. for kicks~

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

What is it my child, release unto my rectory.

[insert confession here, without lengthy explanation]

I will start the first one... inquire within.