Back on the Rocks!!!

its good to be home (^_^)

An interesting skit drawn from a conversation at work

The Cast(In order of number of lines)

Ryan(Elite supervisor, manic-depressive currently in the angry phase)
Susan(Utility clerk, name changed to protect her identity though she is very pregnant and far from innocent)
Sean(The acting in-charge person, although the real power is Ryan's. Can fix things)
Customers(Nameless, faceless zombie hordes, only you can't decapitate them even if you want to)

{The scene begins as Susan approaches the counter where Ryan works. Customers are in line waiting to be served.}

Susan: Can you page Sean up here? I need him to help me fix the doors.
Ryan: You broke the doors?
Susan: No, I just need Sean to help me fix it.
Ryan: So you broke the doors.
Susan: No, see, I was pushing carts and the other guy didn't open the doors wide enough. So I hit them a little.
Ryan: Wait a minute, I don't get this. If the doors aren't broken, then how come you need Sean to help you fix them?
{Customers begin laughing}
Susan: They aren't broken.
Customer: They're "temporarily disabled. {More laughter}
Ryan: I'm not going to page Sean up here until you admit that you broke the doors and apologize.
Susan: I'm sorry I broke the doors Ryan.
Ryan: There we go. {Ryan picks up the phone and pushes some buttons} Sean up front please!
{Sean arrives up front}
Sean: Yeah, what is it?
Ryan: Susan broke the doors, I need you to help fix them.
Sean: Great.......{Sean leaves. Moments later he returns}
Sean: That was hard. She really broke the shit out of those doors. It was so far off track I had to push it up with a pry bar to get it back on. That's the worst I've ever seen it.
Ryan: See, I told you they were broken!
Sean: What?
Ryan: Never mind.

What is a house without a porch?

A porch is a title page as much as it is a transitional space.

I don't have a porch so I have to make a polish 1 out of my garage. My neighbor doesn't have 1, either, but they hang out in the driveway on the front steps or anywhere they can make a seat.

Porches promote democracy. "Porches not Bombs," that's my motto. I have this theory that if people would have stayed on their porches more in North Chicago, that that city would not have taken the path that that gives it its current reputation. There are times when people should take to the streets, and there are times to take to the porch. I'm not playing the sophmore game and saying 1 is the prefered method for achieving something, just saying that a porch is the microcasm of the grand paro.

I just wrote to the founder of the Professional Porch Sitters Union. He likes Old Crow like how I like Old Crow. He lives in Kentucky like where I'm looking to buy land and build. We both have disdain for decks and conditioned air.

Many of you know how much I enjoy my garage. So much so that I'm wrapping up this post so I can go back out there and do some professional sitting.














Link
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5589974

Excuse my absence

In addition to being lazy, my computer was fucked. Now it's not anymore.

Wheel see where this takes us

I made the wheel. Chad knows how to make the counter top. All we need is someone who's into leather, and the 3 of us can be as sufficient as this picture.



I've made over ten-thousand of these urethane wheels. If I tried harder at work, I could have made over 15,000 by now. If I tried really hard, I could have only made 5,000. I make them is an unhealthy environment. They are used in fitness machines.

Sign me up!

Why take an ambulance the next time you have an emergancy, the trolley is a lot better
Despite what the sign says there was no pineapples, but it had plenty of dissappointment for everybody.
Underneath the water the alligators have a similar sign. It's a picture of me and says "beware of this man....he's a known sexual predator" I didn't know she was an under age alligator =(
FRIENDLY, YOU BET THEY ARE!!!

OMG!!11 I been haxx0r3d!!!1

Thanks to my laziness and an insecure password on a temporary user account, my computer spent several days scanning ports for some jerk. I'm not particularly mad about it, but it does make an interesting subject for a post. Hack the planet!

Sometimes I forget just how bad it makes me look.

I'm at work and I let myself get mad at a developmentally disabled co-worker. He's completely worthless and extremely obtrusively annoying. I guess he's become some sort of a mascot or project for the company because sucking ass doesn't seem to effect his job security very much. Is a company that's willing to subject it's employees to retard fits really worth working for?

Blogged with Flock

Teh book

The Old.

The New.

(massive post coming soon, OMGz)

Bedknobs and Bookshelves

Screw you guys and your fancy bookshelves. These are all the books I have down here.

I'm soooo gonna hit on Kaicho's mom when I get back home XD

It's a festival ya'll!

I'm coming home soon. How soon? July 30th soon. But anywho, if you guys aren't doing anything on August 12th then go to Mitsuwa for a Natsu-Matsuri (summer festival)

fest info


well that's all I've got...see you all soon.

And I Suggest, May I Suggest to You

My spirit has fled. I'm completely deflated. My mother has 2 tumors in her head. She's going to make an appointment for the Mayo Clinic. She's going to have to have an operation on her head.

May I suggest
May I suggest to you

May I suggest
This time is blessed for you

With a request
With a request of you

To see how very short the endless days will run
And when they're gone

And when the dark descends
Oh we'd give anything for one more hour of light

My life as a raving derelict.

I don't have much to post about. There's a search box on the right side now. It's the first of many changes that will be coming to the blog. Nothing too ugly I hope. Just a change of pace from a stock template to something a little more custom. I think the main colors will remain blue. That's all for now. A round of applause for andy's latest posts. He convinced me with just a few sentences to spend a bunch of money on amazon.

Still missing 1 from Hangley, Jackass, Gilimoro, and a few more Slackasses

If only I could jar my love for Doomlazer

My grandmother showed me the ropes of jarring this afternoon. Yesterday I picked all around my mulberry trees for 3 hours. I thought I was gonna get lots of pure mulberry juice. I could have, but it's not that good, so Baba made me cut it with pure cranberry juice that she jarred last year. Ocean Spray is a bunch of liars when they write that you're buying 100% Cranberry Juice. Today I held 100% cranberry juice in my hand. It's as thick as Head Cheese...which my grandmother made me eat (yuck). She kept telling me that during the war ('39 to '45), how she would have loved to have head cheese to eat but for 7 years all she ate were potatoes, onions and parsley.

Tomorrow I'm gonna jarr a Mulberry-Current Berry mixed juice. In a few more weeks my raspberries will be in and I'm gonna jar the fuck out of those. Then I'm going to take all my jars and lock myself in my basement till tornado season passes.




And here's her cat.

I heart doomlazer.

Here's some special sky love from the zion fireworks show.

Your calendar's receipt is your ticket to impending death

I finished the Doomlazer Calendar. It's good for the rest of the year. The next calendar will be 2007 to 2008. Since this is the people's Calendar I took the pictures from the people's Blog. The more pics you post, the better the next calendar will be. Each month celebrates a Remorser. 5 in all.

Without the Uncontrollable Lust archives, the calendar may look to be lacking in important events, such as trips to Woodmans and -Okes.

Anyhoot, I'll make copies of it tomorrow and get 'em to Remorsers as I see them.

Doomlazer Beach Bash 2k6

Huge success, unless you count the stink.