We emerge upon the world.

sorry, i couldn’t help myself

Calvin has to leave for training on Monday for his eventual deployment early next month. So, if you dare, you can come here on Saturday for a going to war shin-dig. Call the lads if you want in/need help getting here. I’ll be here all weekend with some extended family and a likely keg.

Cheers!

I’m stubborn so even though I should study being told to study makes me not want to.

People, you’re now among a god!

the stang compound is disintegrating rapidly. mother said if dustin moves away we’re all kicked out, including this friendly author. so, i need a place to hang my hat. anyone out there need to adopt a 26 year old vagrant? I have no money, but i can cook and wash dishes.

i’m a quiet masturbater and i don’t take up much space. if you have a horse, goats, chickens or dogs i am well suited to handle/slaughter/bury them should the need arise.

also, should you need any plumbing, electric or carpentry work done i can do that for the low low price of a semi-comfortable couch.

you can reach me at home, or after that one of the wonderful kenosha county homeless shelters throughout the winter.

Bill and I decided that the most annoying cooking shows could be improved via T-Pain’s signature voice synthesizer, but it would be better if T-Pain had his own cooking show.

Each week T-Pain would host a show that would essentially be a 20 minute long music video. Complete with guest rappers and scantily clad women to dance around him as he cooked simple, delicious meals that you can feed to your family on a budget(not counting the amount of Champagne needed to pour on the dancers in the kitchen). T-Pain would do the cooking while providing the backing track while the featured rapper laid down the ingredient list and procedure that would not only give extra street cred to Arroz con Pollo, but would have his lady dancers something to do as they give him the necessary equipment and ingredients while he cooked up a tasty meal sure to please even the most finicky of eaters. Of course, the show would end with the credits rolling over a silent T-Pain as he enjoyed the food while the women did the dishes in string bikinis.

Since most tv cooks have lame catch phrases like yum-o and bam!; T-Pain’s shawty, shawty aaahhh-ooohhh-yeaahhhhh, would be a welcomed break from the pack. Also I hate Guy Fieri, Rachel Ray and Anthony Bourdain. Those guys are assholes.

The first day of basement cleaning Andy and I went to Wal-Mart for supplies. Since I was essentially broke we only got the essentials. It’s moldy down there so the facemasks were a must. Without garbage bags there’s really no point to cleaning. And without beer it would be pretty much impossible to lure unsuspecting friends down those rickity stairs. But that’s not what this post is about, it’s about meeting people. Andy and I made a new friend that day. In the last few minutes of our shopping adventure we were forced to wait in line for quite a while due to who knows what happening with the register. During that wait an older gentleman struck up a conversation with us. It started with “I’ll tell you what, NEVER get married. I was married twenty eight years before I got out and I’ve never been happier.”. He then proceeded to show us why he was so happy, using his cracked moto razr. There were many photos of his nude girlfriend and offers to have her jump out a cake ensued. We finally made it to the cashier and ran from the store like children fleeing a haunted house because we were afraid he’d see what car we were driving and follow us to hang out. The rest of the day cleaning basement didn’t come close to making us feel as dirty as that one small conversation.

Making basement progress. Andy, Al, Calvin and my brother Shawn came over to help clean the basement. You can see the before photos with the occasional progress photo in the Picasa Gallery. They accomplished so much it almost made my uncomfortable. I was hoping for mild slow progress in a small area and these maniacs went to town on it. I ended up with a patch of bare concrete that put all previous efforts to shame. There’s a video that shows time lapse progress of our work. That’s all I’ve got for now. Studying is going well enough but not as well as it could be. Hope everyone is having an excellent 2010 so far.